Day 7, Monday @ 2:43pm

Mile 2829: WA border
Music: Journey’s Greatest Hits
Tom writing, Scott driving

Our car’s misery index is climbing. Let’s go through the various contributing factors:

Weather: Wet and muggy. It’s raining so we pulled over to tape up a big sheet of plastic over the passenger side window. We got some sweet orange duct tape for securing the plastic. We really loaded up the right side of the car with it and then Scott taped us a number “01” on the side of the smashed in door. We’re not the General Lee though because that car was much cooler than ours. Instead, we’re now driving the General Custer because he really got his ass handed to him. Vegas was our Wounded Knee.

Driving: Our pace has slowed (see weather). Scott is writing a text message on his phone while driving in the rain. When he does this he drives with his knees. I am looking at a yellow sign that has a picture of a car with skid marks behind it indicating slippery road. When our wreck is salvaged from the bottom of a cliff, they’ll probably find a half completed lame message like, “ROFLMAO. GR8 – W3R3 IN WA5HINGT”

Noise: The piece of plastic keeping me dry is vibrating like a mofo in the wind and creating a near deafening racket inside the car. That coupled with the busted muffler and blown front speakers has created a perfect storm of noise that prevents me from enjoying Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. I think my ears are going to start bleeding soon.

Food: We just ate our Krispy Kreme doughnuts which were good. I picked up some jerky from at the last gas station. The friendly lady there talked me out of the fancy jerky I had selected in lieu of some local stuff that taste like it comes from the cow’s nutsack. It really does. Nutsack jerky, teriyaki style. Sigh.

Comfort: The car actually is a little warmer now which is good. I rode the previous 100 miles with the laptop literally on my lap for warmth. I can’t take much more of this seat though. It pushes liberally into my upper back creating an uncomfortable curvature in my lower back. Japanese people must have different shaped spines. Maybe I’ll sit in the back and let Scott chauffer me. “To Seattle my good man. And step on it.”

Odor: This is going to become an issue really soon. One advantage of driving 80 with a smashed out window is that any smells we produce are rapidly sucked out the windows to mingle with the local Mormon scent. We did get showers this morning at the campground. Come to think of it – I suspect I’m showering more regularly on this trip that I do at home. And I’m positive that’s the case for my stinky driver.